Since I previewed the Cubs last week, I guess I’ll preview the White Sox now, even though I hate them with a passion and wish they’d just go away. Well, I don’t hate them so much as I have bitter resentment, but I still wish they’d just go away.
The good news is, however, that this year, I think they will go away, at least for most purposes. I have them pegged at a fourth-place finish because their rotation is kind of shaky (though not as shaky as some believe), their bullpen and bench aren’t worthy of faith or trust at this point and their lineup just isn’t scary enough considering the difficult division they play in. I still think they’ll win more games (about 83) than the Cubs (around 80), but they have the misfortune of playing in a division that is much tougher. Here’s how their roster looks as of Opening Day:
- Scott Podsednik LF
- Darin Erstad CF
- Jim Thome DH
- Paul Konerko 1B
- Jermaine Dye RF
- A.J. Pierzynski C
- Tadahito Iguchi 2B
- Joe Crede 3B
- Juan Uribe SS
The rest of the team shakes out like this:
Rotation
- Jose Contreras
- Jon Garland
- Javier Vazquez
- Mark Buehrle
JoshJohn Danks
Bullpen
- Bobby Jenks
- Mike MacDougal
- Matt
ThortonThornton - David Aardsma
- Nick Masset
- Andruw Sisco
Bench
- Rob Mackowiak
- Pablo Ozuna
- Brian Anderson
- Toby Hall
- Gustavo Molina
The power in the lineup is still there and Javier Vazquez and Mark Buerhle aren’t as bad as they showed last year. If the starting pitchers can get into the seventh inning and later (looking at you, Javier!) to take some pressure of that bullpen and if the Sox can stay healthy (look at that bench and tell me your eyes don’t bleed), there’s a chance this team can compete. As it is, I see this team finishing 10-15 games out.
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The status on David Robert (initials D.R … nickname Doc too much?) is that we will go in for an amniocentesis on Monday morning and if it says everything is OK, we will induce. So that’s the good news.
For now, I’m just clinging to hope that my wife will not go into labor Sunday. Why? Because Sunday is the day of the most ridiculous fantasy baseball draft that I’ve ever heard of.
The league has 18-teams with 23-man rosters, in mixed 4×4 format with auction draft and keepers in an annual event that rivals my kids’ birthdays as the biggest day of the year. This isn’t just some regular fantasy league in which your normal, every-day geeks partake. No, this is a super-geek, shark-infested, ultra-competitive, definitely-not-friendly death match in which I am annually in way over my head. Among our participants, we have a Sun-Times fantasy football contributer (and he’s one of more mediocre players); we have a rotisserie veteran that flies in from California for this thing; we have a person who could double as human baseball encyclopedia in Soucie; we have several other fantasy baseball sharks … and me. I’m an idiot. I have no business in this league, but I have the advantage of knowing the commish and the willingness to donate my $25 every year. So I, the fish, am allowed to swim with the sharks. It has horrifying results every year. I’m chum. My futility in this league is well-documented and oft-mocked. I once fought for last place to a guy that didn’t attend the draft and had to fill his team with leftovers.
Let me put into context how embarrassing that last sentence is. Most magazines list their top 200 fantasy players, figuring that will be enough, or at least close to it, to get you through your draft. Not in this league. We have 414 roster spots to fill, plus each team gets a 10-man reserve team called a taxi squad. That’s 594 players. There’s only 750 on a major league roster. Take away back-up catchers, mop-up bullpen guys, left-handed specialist relievers who have no fantasy value, fifth outfielders and utility infielders, and you’re probably down to about 600 players total in the major leagues that aren’t completely worthless. Our league has 594 roster spots. And I nearly lost to a guy whose roster was filled with, other than the seven keepers from his previous year’s team, undrafted goo from top to bottom.
But if you don’t think I’d leave my wife the second after David Robert’s born, race out of the hospital, speed down Court Street and blow all the red lights on the way to the draft site, just to make sure that I don’t let Kelvim Escobar go to another team for less than $15, or to make sure that Alejandro de Aza doesn’t get stolen for $1, then you don’t know me very well.
Lou Piniella has announced the Cubs’ starting lineup for Monday’s season opener. It is as follows
- Alfonso Soriano CF
- Matt Murton LF
- Derrek Lee 1B
- Aramis Ramirez 3B
- Jacque Jones RF
- Michael Barrett C
MikeMark DeRosa 2B- Caesar Itzuris SS
- Carlos Zambrano P
The rest of the team shakes out like this.
Rotation
- Ted Lilly
- Jason Marquis
- Rich Hill
- Wade Miller
Bullpen
- Ryan Dempster
- Bob Howry
- Scott Eyre
- Michael Wuertz
- Neil Cotts
- Will Ohman
- Angel Guzman
Bench
- Ronny Cedeno
- Cliff Floyd
- Ryan Theriot
- Henry Blanco
- Daryl Ward
Is this team talented enough to win the wretched NL Central? I don’t think there’s any question that the answer is yes. Whether or not they’ll do it, we’ll have to wait and see. I know this: I’m not falling for it. I’m not going to get wrapped up in getting all optimistic like a typical Cubbie fan and then have them go 10-17 in April and crush my spirit. No, I’ll watch every game and root just as hard as I always do, but if they’re 10 games out by May 16, I’m not going to be upset. I’m entering this season with low expectations and hoping to be pleasantly surprised. Maybe, if I say that enough, I’ll actually begin to believe it.
On a side note, keep an eye on Ryan Theriot, who is being called “The Riot” (get it? ha ha … sigh). He absolutely raked this spring. I’m not sure where it came from, but he’s speedy, has a knack for driving the gaps and isn’t any worse defensively than DeRosa. Also, keep an eye on Rocky Cherry, who was robbed out of a roster spot (why do we need Will Ohman again?). He also lit up the spring. He was the most impressive guy out of the bullpen this spring, hands down.
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As for the Bears/Briggs saga, there was an interesting trade rumor offered by the Redskins, which included Washington sending the team their No. 6 overall pick for Briggs and the Bears’ No. 31 pick. You all know the backstory, so I’ll spare you from it. Here’s the deal, though: would the Bears rather call Briggs’ bluff, pay him the $7-some odd million in salary for sitting out the season (10 games) and then either let him go at the end of the year for nothing (or franchise him again … that would be rich!), or would they rather trade him and the No. 31 pick, get a marginally-to-substantially better draft pick at No. 6 and be stuck with the fat salary they’d have to pay the rookie? Could they even sign the rookie? Would he hold out? Remember Benson? Will Briggs really hold out? It’s times like these I don’t envy Jerry Angelo. Whatever he decides here, I think it’s best if we save the criticism.
Of all the things the Bears have done this offseason, very little of it was done quietly. However, they did quietly provide a safety-net for the Tank Johnson situation with the signing of defensive tackle Anthony Adams, the second AA they acquired in a week following the Adam Archuletta deal (another underrated acquisition).
This is a VERY different team defensively than it was a month ago and a moderately different team offensively. When your team comes as close to winning it all like the Bears did this year, sometimes change can seem scary. There’s no denying this has been a tumultuous offseason thus far, but whether or not its good or bad will be found out later.
How many wins an NFL team gets depends on the schedule, more so than in any other sport. Last year, the Bears’ schedule wasn’t exactly tough. In 2007, however, the non-divisional games include battles at San Diego, Philadelphia, Seattle, Washington and Oakland, plus a brutal non-divisional home schedule that features Denver, New Orleans, Kansas City, Dallas and the New York Giants.
With that schedule, even optimistic fans can’t expect another 13-3 regular season, but if the Bears go at least 4-2 in the division, go 3-2 in those non-divisional home games and take care of the Redskins and Raiders on the road, that’s nine wins right there. Gaining another win or two or three along the way would put them in good position entering the playoffs.
In a blog I wrote earlier, I left out some quality drinking days, most notably Cinqo de Mayo, Labor Day, Memorial Day/Indy 500 weekend and birthdays were brought up by my two readers (thanks! You’re the only two I’ve got!). Other ones I’ve thought of myself include Halloween, weddings (including bachelor/bachelorette parties), divorce parties, college graduation, fantasy sports drafts, the Daytona 500 and any time you attend a major sporting event (i.e. going to a Cubs or White Sox game). This is clearly a topic that needs further discussion.
So here’s my official top 10 drinking days. Not that I endorse drinking, but if I did, this would be my list.
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10. Halloween. If I was single, this would be the No. 2 at least. But I really do like being married and so I’ll just say no more about this day. But you know where I’m going with this, right?
9. Mardi Gras. I’m not Catholic, so this holiday doesn’t mean as much to me, but the concept is fabulous. You have to give up something for Lent, so you indulge in that one thing the day before Lent starts. Mostly, though, people just use this day as an excuse to get plastered.
8. Memorial Day/Indy 500. An under-appreciated 3-day weekend here. It’s lost its luster with the decline in popularity of the race, but it’s usually not difficult to find a friend that will throw a killer party in conjunction with the 500, with free food and free beer. Can’t beat that.
7. Attending a sporting event. There’s nothing quite like hanging out with three buddies, getting some brews at the Cubbie Bear before the game, hitting the bleachers and spending $25 on each round of beers, heckling guys like Preston Wilson and then going bar-hopping after another Cubs’ loss. Good times, particularly if you bring even more friends and use a bus, so you can drink on the way up there and on the way back. Man, I hope the higher ups aren’t reading this.
6. Super Bowl Sunday. People think the Monday after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday. They really think that. You can’t underestimate the value of a day in which so many people have a killer hangover afterwards that there is actually a movement to cancel work.
5. Night before Thanksgiving. Women have the day after Thanksgiving; men have the night before. I haven’t quite understood the appeal here (I’m guessing something to do with hating your family) but I admit I’ve never indulged. I hear great things about this though.
4. Birthdays. Mainly, I’m reserving this for a person’s 21st birthday. Everyone has a story about his/her 21st. Mine involves … you know what, after having typed that story, I erased it. Let’s just not go there.
3. New Year’s Eve. This is actually a week-long thing, really, because there are college bowl games the whole week and I don’t think it would be right to separate them from this day. Plus, it sucks us in every year. When you think about it, really, who cares about a stupid ball dropping? But it’s winter, so we’re cold and depressed. New Year’s is an excuse to have fun.
2. Weddings. Weddings are just incredible. There’s a myth that men hate weddings. This is absolutely false. Men hate weddings that their wives drag them to. We love weddings if we are friends with the groom. Free food, free booze, drunk/good-looking women (not that I pay attention) and, if you’re a groomsman, a bachelor party. Negative: Potential for one of those four-day bender situations in which your wife contemplates divorce and you begin to smell like a vagabond canine.
1. Fourth of July. The only major holiday in the summer, this day combines booze, barbeque, explosives, music, friends (with no family!!) and lack of work. Plus, there’s potential for softball tournaments, golf outings, small-town fun days and county fairs. Simply a phenomenal holiday. Can you think of another day in which you get drunker? Negative: All the dopes who don’t have a DD or find a place to stay. The amount of drunk drivers at 11 p.m. on July 4th is unparalleled. It’s almost best to just host a party.
So there you go. Hopefully, my bosses don’t think I’m a drunk. Oh wait, at least one of my bosses is a drunk.
So we went to the hospital Sunday evening thinking Kristin was going into labor. Twenty-four hours (a whole five minutes of which was spent with a doctor even!!) later, we gave up and went home, with Kristin at four centimeters and David apparently assuming the position ready to be born. I guess we’re just going to wait around for him to make his next move.
The whole experience was awful, for Kristin especially because they wouldn’t let her eat. I asked her why she couldn’t eat and she said she thought it was because they don’t want her to have a movement during labor. After I finished vomiting, I then said, ‘Hey, they’ve crammed us in here for 24 hours, not let you eat any food at all, and during that time allowed us to see a doctor for only 37 more seconds than we have the freakin’ pope, then had the doctor tell us under no circumstance will they induce labor now, despite the fact that if they took two seconds to read our file, they’d have seen that we’re due for a possible inducing in TWO days (we’d have told them that ourselves, but we only saw a doctor twice for a combined 37 seconds…they came and went like ninjas), all while cramming me in this Fisher-Price recliner than doesn’t recline until the very moment I give up on it … if they’re going to do that, then they can deal with a little ca-ca during delivery. They deserve it. Here, eat this cookie.”
Needless to say, I’m a little frustrated.
With two little girls and a little boy coming, our little Dodge Neon was no longer going to cut it.
So the wife and I gave in and purchased a van, a 1998 Dodge Caravan. Driving a van is like riding a moped or dating an ugly girl for her personality. Sure, it’s a lot of fun and all things considered, it’s not that bad of an experience. But there’s a certain amount of shame that goes along with it if you’re a man. You just don’t go around bragging about it, and you’re sure to hear grief from your friends.
I’ve decided to abstain from commenting on the Bears, Thomas Jones, Lance Briggs, Tank Johnson or anything else regarding the team for the next few weeks. It just makes me depressed. I’m not angry. I’m just depressed. This offseason has been brutal. The only highlight was when deadspin.com ran a picture of Brian Urlacher copping a feel off an attractive blond, with another attractive blond on his other arm while Jerry Azumah snuck his head into the picture from the side. Great picture, but I’m scared to link it … you can find it on deadspin though. But seriously, what’s next? Bernard Berrian leaves the team for Dancing With the Stars?
On a happier note, tonight is St. Patrick’s Day, one of the great drinking days of the year and it happens to land on a Saturday this year. Just a landmark event. Of course, my wife is 11 3/4 months pregnant, setting a record of some sort, so I cannot take full advantage of this, but that does not take away from how drunk everyone else will get.
Which brings this up: What are the best drinking days of the year? First, lets look at the holidays: Mardi Gras, St. Patrick’s Day, New Year’s Eve, the Fourth of July and the day before Thanksgiving are all considered great drinking days. Then we have sporting events like Super Bowl Sunday and the NCAA National Championship Final Four games on Saturday and Monday. Then we have the “hidden gem” days, like the day we send our clocks back, which allows the bars to stay open an extra hour. Then we have our own personal favorites, (mine is Taco Night every Wednesday at the Long Branch in L’Erable). Then of course is every Friday and every Saturday. Then, the Sundays before major holidays.
How many great drinking days are we up to now? 295?
Maybe St. Patrick’s Day isn’t so special after all.
This just in: the Bears have traded Thomas Jones for a second-round pick. Scratch that. They have traded Thomas Jones AND a second-round pick for a better second-round pick. Wait, that doesn’t make any sense.
I promised, PROMISED, myself that no matter what happened, I would not criticize the Bears for anything that happened this offseason, after doing so frequently last year and ending up with a large amount of egg on myself. So I won’t do it now. However, let’s just say that I’m not going to disagree with the vast amount of criticism the team receives for trading their hardest worker, the soul of the offense, a tremendous player just to move up 26 spots in the second round. Hopefully, there is a bigger agenda here for the Bears.
In other Bears news, the Lance Briggs saga took another turn yesterday as he told an ESPN reporter that he’ll “do everything in my power to keep from playing (for Chicago).” Wow. Them’s some strong words. Really, I don’t understand it. Certainly he figured the franchise tag was at least a possibility. I blame Drew Rosenhaus for this.
Remember the ”I-L-L! D-U-I!” chant started by Indiana fans? Apparently, it’s catching on. (scroll to the bottom) … And now, there’s this. Great. Can anyone say “lack of institutional control?”
