In Sunday’s Life section, there can be found a pregnant Chicago Bears’ fan (eight months along) who is offering her belly as ad space in exchange for two tickets to Super Bowl.
To that, I have just one question.
Why didn’t I think of that?
My wife is due in early April and I think I could convince her to do this. Heck, I’m nearly willing to exchange my first born for two tickets. Sorry, Kenzie. Sacrifices have to be made.
OK, I’m kidding. But I’m not kidding when I say I’m convinced that the Bears will win. Here are a few reasons why.
• The Colts’ defense. All the “experts” (note the air quotes, Mr. Urlacher) claim the Indianapolis defense has improved dramatically in the playoffs. Well, Kansas City had no wide receivers and a concussed quarterback, Baltimore’s offense was a complete joke and New England hung 31 points (albeit with seven points scored by its defense). Yeah, the Colts’ defense is impressive indeed.
The Bears’ offense is certainly more productive than Kansas City’s or Baltimore’s and compares favorably with New England’s. Chicago will likely score about 20 points on offense, not including scores aided by defense and special teams. Make no mistake; this Colts’ defense is soft, particularly against the run.
• The Colts’ offensive philosophy. Indianapolis, specifically Peyton Manning, is much more efficient while running the no-huddle offense, as shown in the AFC Championship game. While in the huddle, the Colts were ineffective. Once the Colts went no huddle, the slow, beleaguered Patriots’ defense became tired, disoriented and confused, not unlike a fat guy in yoga class. That allowed Manning carved them up for 225 passing yards and 32 points in the second half alone.
Here’s the thing: The no-huddle strategy won’t work nearly as well with the Bears, who won’t tire and won’t become disorganized. In fact, a faster-paced game would suit the Bears, who pride themselves on their speed and conditioning. Don’t be surprised to see Manning throw a mini-tantrum (he does this A LOT and never takes heat for it) and the Colts abandon the no-huddle.
• Tillman vs. Harrison. Many people think the Charles Tillman-Marvin Harrison matchup will favor the Colts. That simply won’t be the case.
Expect Tillman to consistently jam Harrison, much like he consistently jammed Marques Colston in the NFC Championship game. Tillman had an underrated year (some think he had Pro-Bowl caliber season), and as long as he’s able to contain Harrison, it will buy the Bears’ front four enough time to hurry Manning and the Colts’ offense will be slowed.
• The Peyton Manning factor. Let’s face it; Manning has been unimpressive for most of the playoffs in his entire career, save the second half of last week’s game. He’s thrown two interceptions and six touchdowns this postseason. Going against the Bears’ defense, that will spell trouble.
Furthermore, Manning can be rattled. We’ve all seen it before and we’ll see it Sunday.
• The Rex Grossman non-factor. Don’t expect Grossman to win the Super Bowl MVP award. Don’t expect much from him at all, in fact, not necessarily because Bad Rex will show up, but because Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson will be too busy running for between 175 and 225 combined yards for Rex to have many chances to throw.
If the Bears run 55 plays Sunday, expect between 35-40 of them to be running plays. Bad Rex can show up, but who cares? Dig up Cade McNown and put him in there; it would hardly make a difference.
• Turnovers. The Bears’ defense is notorious for causing turnovers. If the Bears are able to garner more than two takeaways, they will more than likely win the game. With the way Peyton Manning plays in the postseason, that isn’t too much to ask.
• Devin Hester. Yahoo! Sports’ Chris Carter summarizes it this way: “Colts’ suspect kick coverage faces NFL’s best in Hester.” When even Yahoo! Sports’ Chris Carter can see something’s wrong, it’s usually time to worry.
• The Bears are underdogs. This has been the year of the underdog, so why should the Super Bowl be any different?
Will all that said, am I scared to death that the Colts’ offense will run roughshod over the Bears’ injury-plagued defense, that Evil Rex (who should grow a goatee, by the way, so we can identify him from Good Rex) will sabotage the game and that the Colts will run away for a 49-13 win?
Yup.
But that won’t happen. I’ve talked myself into believing it can’t.
Now, if I could just talk a gambling website into buying ad space on one more pregnant belly.
OK, so everyone is sick of hearing about Rex Grossman right?
Can we please be done talking about him? Please? K, thanks.
Here’s what is known: The Bears went 13-3, they won last week (hearts everywhere have just now gotten back down to normal beating rates) and are now one win away from their first Super Bowl since 1985.
Yes, the quarterback has been shaky. Yes the defense is leaky. Yes Devin Hester is giving people heart attacks. Yes Lovie Smith’s timeout with two seconds left in regulation was arguably the stupidest timeout since Chris Webber (and would’ve exceeded Webber’s blunder had the Seahawks scored).
But who cares? Seriously, who cares?
13-3. NFC Championship game. Despite injuries to Tommie Harris and Mike Brown. Despite the drama with Tank Johnson.
The Bears are one game away from the Super Bowl. Enough with the Rex-bashing. Enough with the doomsday attitude. Enough. Enjoy this.
Please.
My wife and I have this game. It’s not a fun game, but it’s a game.
It’s called “Find the Poo.”
You see, we have two kids (one will turn 3 soon, one will turn 2 in April) and a cat. So often, we smell poo.
Stick with me.
Our oldest is potty trained, so the first place we look is her little pot that sits on the floor. Then we check the litter box. You get the idea.
Why do I bring this up, you ask? Simple. The Bears.
The Bears have turned into the NFL version of “Find the Poo.” Something stinks and there are multiple suspects as to what the source of the stink is.
I don’t know what the source is. My gut tells me that it’s the pass defense, which has been a bug-a-boo for years, one that was addressed in the offseason, but in a way that provided depth, not a significant upgrade in starting talent. It seemed unsettling then and it seems unsettling now that the defensive secondary that was burned like bacon against Carolina last year has not improved at the starting spots since, with the exception of nickelback. (Luckily, Chris Thompson is nowhere in sight.)
But how can you ignore the quarterback position? Certainly that’s a suspect of the odor, right?
John Tait looked bad last week after returning from injury. If he’s not the source of the poo, he’s at least got some of it on his shoe.
Either way, the Bears have two weeks to find the source and flush it. I don’t know why, but I think they’ll do it.
